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|
Gulliver's Travels (1726) |
Jonathan Swift |
| 1 | THE frequent Labours I underwent every Day made in a few Weeks a very considerable change in my Health: The more my Master got by me, the more unsatiable he grew. I had quite lost my Stomach, and was almost reduced to a Skeleton. The Farmer observed it, and concluding I soon must dye, resolved to make as good a Hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and resolving with himself, a Slardral, or Gentleman Usher came from Court, commanding my Master to carry me immediately thither for the Diversion of the Queen and her Ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see me, and reported strange Things of my Beauty, Behaviour, and good Sense. Her Majesty and those who attended her were beyond Measure delighted with my Demeanor. I fell on my Knees, and begged the Honour of kissing her Imperial Foot; but this Gracious Princess held out her little Finger towards me (after I was set on a Table) which I embraced in both my Arms, and put the tip of it, with the utmost respect, to my Lip. She made me some general Questions about my Country and my Travels, which I answer'd as distinctly and in as few Words as I could. She asked whether I would be content to live at Court. I bowed down to the board of the Table, and humbly answered that I was my Master's Slave, but if I were at my own Disposal, I should be proud to devote my Life to her Majesty's Service. She then asked my Master whether he were willing to sell me at a good Price. He, who apprehended I could not live a Month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of Gold, which were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness of eight hundred Moydores; but, allowing for the proportion of all Things between that Country and Europe, and the high price of Gold among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand Guineas would be in England. I then said to the Queen, since I was now her Majesty's most humble Creature and Vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had always tended me with so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might be admitted into her Service, and continue to be my Nurse and Instructor. Her Majesty agreed to my Petition, and easily got the Farmer's consent, who was glad enough to have his Daughter preferred at Court: and the poor Girl herself was not able to hide her Joy: My late Master withdrew, biding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good Service; to which I replyed not a Word, only making him a slight bow. | ||||||||||||||||||
| 2 | THE Queen observed my coldness, and when the Farmer was gone out of the Apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her Majesty that I owed no other Obligation to my late Master, than his not dashing out the Brains of a poor harmless Creature found by chance in his Field; which Obligation was amply recompenced by the gain he had made in shewing me through half the Kingdom, and the price he had now sold me for. That the Life I had since led, was laborious enough to kill an Animal of ten times my Strength. That my Health was much impaired by the continual drudgery of entertaining the Rabble every hour of the Day, and that if my Master had not thought my Life in danger, her Majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being ill treated under the protection of so great and good an Empress, the Ornament of Nature, the Darling of the World, the Delight of her Subjects, the Phoenix of the Creation; so, I hoped my late Master's apprehensions would appear to be groundless, for I already found my Spirits to revive by the Influence of her most August Presence. | ||||||||||||||||||
| 3 | THIS was the sum of my Speech, delivered with great Improprieties and Hesitation; the latter part was altogether framed in the Style peculiar to that People, whereof I learned some Phrases from Glumdalclitch, while she was carrying me to Court. | ||||||||||||||||||
| 4 | THE Queen giving great Allowance for my Defectiveness in speaking, was however surprised at so much Wit and good Sense in so diminutive an Animal. She took me in her own Hands, and carried me to the King, who was then retired to his Cabinet. His Majesty, a Prince of much Gravity, and austere Countenance, not well observing my Shape at first View, asked the Queen after a cold Manner, how long it was since she grew fond of a Splacnuck; for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my Breast in her Majesty's right Hand. But this Princess, who hath an infinite deal of Wit and Humour, set me gently on my Feet upon the Scrutore, and commanded me to give His Majesty an Account of my self, which I did in a very few Words; and Glumdalclitch, who attended at the Cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my Arrival at her Father's House. | ||||||||||||||||||
| 5 |
THE King, although he be as learned a Person as any in his Dominions,
| 6 |
HIS Majesty sent for three great
Scholars who were then in their weekly
waiting (according to the Custom in
that Country.) These Gentlemen, after
they had a while examined my Shape
with much Nicety, were of different
Opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be produced according to the regular Laws of Nature,
because I was not framed with a Capacity of preserving my Life, either by
Swiftness, or climbing of Trees, or digging Holes in the Earth. They observed by my Teeth, which they viewed
with great Exactness, that I was a carnivorous Animal; yet most Quadrupeds
being an Overmatch for me, and FieldMice, with some others, too nimble,
they could not imagine how I should be
able to support my self, unless I fed
upon Snails and other Insects, which
they offered by many learned Arguments to evince that I could not possibly do. One of these Virtuosi seemed
to think that I might be an Embrio, or
abortive Birth. But this Opinion was
rejected by the other two, who observed
my Limbs to be perfect and finished,
and that I had lived several Years, as it
was manifested from my Beard, | 7 |
AFTER this decisive Conclusion, I
entreated to be heard a Word or two.
I applied myself to the King, and assured
His Majesty that I came from a Country
which abounded with several Millions of
both Sexes, and of my own Stature;
where the Animals, Trees, and Houses
were all in Proportion, and where by
consequence I might be as able to defend my self, and to find Sustenance,
as any of his Majesty's Subjects could do
here; which I took for a full Answer to
those Gentlemens Arguments. To this
they only replied with a Smile of Contempt, saying, That the Farmer had instructed me very well in my Lesson.
The King, who had a much better Understanding, dismissing his learned Men,
sent for the Farmer, who by good Fortune was not yet gone out of Town:
Having therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him with me
and the young Girl, his Majesty began
to think that what we told him might
possibly be true. He desired the Queen
to order that a particular Care should
be taken of me, and was of opinion,
that Glumdalclitch should still continue
in her Office of tending me, because he
observed we had a great Affection for
each other. A convenient Apartment
was provided for her at Court; she had
a sort of Governess appointed to take
care of her Education, a Maid to dress
her, and two other Servants for menial
Offices; but, the Care of me was wholly
appropriated to her self. The Queen
commanded her own Cabinet-maker to
contrive a Box that might serve me for
a Bed-chamber, after the Model that
Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon.
This Man was a most ingenious Artist,
and according to my Directions, in three
Weeks finished for me a wooden Chamber of sixteen Foot square, and twelve
high, with Sash Windows, a Door, and
two Closets, like a London Bed-chamber.
The Board that made the Cieling was to
be lifted up and down by two Hinges,
to put in a Bed ready furnished by her
Majesty's Upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every Day to air, made
it with her own Hands, and letting it
down at Night, locked up the Roof over
me. A Nice Workman, who was famous for little Curiosities, undertook to
make me two Chairs, with Backs and
Frames, of a Substance not unlike Ivory,
and two Tables, with a Cabinet to put
my Things in. The Room was quilted
on all sides, as well as the Floor and
the Cieling, to prevent any Accident
from the Carelesness of those who carried me, and to break the Force of a
Jolt when I went in a Coach. I desired a Lock for my Door to prevent
Rats and Mice from coming in: The
Smith after several Attempts made
the smallest that was ever seen among
them, for I have known a larger at the
Gate of a Gentleman's House in England. I made a shift to keep the Key
in a Pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. The Queen
likewise ordered the thinnest Silks that could
be gotten, to make me Cloaths, not
much thicker than an English Blanket,
very cumbersome till I was accustomed
to them. They were after the Fashion
of the Kingdom, partly resembling the
Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are
a very grave decent Habit.
| 8 |
THE Queen became so fond of my
Company, that she could not dine without me. I had a Table placed upon the
same at which her Majesty eat, just at
her left Elbow, and a Chair to sit on.
Glumdalclitch stood upon a Stool on the
Floor, near my Table, to assist and take
care of me. I had an entire Set of Silver Dishes and Plates, and other Necessaries, which in Proportion to those of
the Queen, were not much bigger than
what I have seen of the same kind in a
London Toy-shop, for the Furniture of
a Baby-house: These my little Nurse
kept in her Pocket, in a Silver Box, and
gave me at Meals as I wanted them
always cleaning them her self. No Person dined with the Queen but the two
Princesses Royal, the elder sixteen Years
old, and the younger at that time thirteen
and a Month. Her Majesty used to put
a Bit of Meat upon one of my Dishes,
out of which I carved for my self; and
her Diversion was to see me eat in Miniature. For the Queen (who had indeed
but a weak Stomach) took up at one
Mouthful, as much as a dozen English
Farmers could eat at a Meal, which to
me was for some time a very nauseous
sight. She would craunch the Wing of
a Lark, Bones and all, between her
Teeth, although it were nine times as
large as that of a full grown Turkey;
and put a Bit of Bread in her Mouth,
as big as two twelvepenny Loaves. She
drank out of a golden Cup, above a
Hogshead at a Draught. Her Knives
were twice as long as a Scythe set strait
upon the Handle. The Spoons, Forks,
and other Instruments were all in the same
Proportion. I remember when
Glumdalclitch carried me out of Curiosity
to see some of the Tables at Court,
where ten or a dozen of these enormous Knives and Forks were lifted up
together, I thought I had never till
then beheld so terrible a Sight.
| 9 |
IT is the Custom that every Wednesday, (which as I have before observed,
was their Sabbath) the King and Queen,
with the Royal Issue of both Sexes,
dine together in the Apartment of his
Majesty, to whom I was now become a
great Favourite; and at these Times my
little Chair and Table were placed at
his left Hand before one of the Saltsellers. This Prince took a Pleasure in
conversing with me, enquiring into the
Manners, Religion, Laws, Government,
and Learning of Europe, wherein I
gave him the best Account I was able.
His Apprehension was so clear, and his
Judgment so exact, that he made very
wise Reflexions and Observations upon
all I said. But, I confess, that after I
had been a little too copious in talking
of my own beloved Country, of our
Trade, and Wars by Sea and Land, of
our Schisms in Religion, and Parties in
the State; the Prejudices of his Education prevailed so far, that he could not
forbear taking me up in his right Hand,
and stroaking me gently with the other,
after an hearty Fit of laughing, asked me
whether I were a Whig or a Tory. Then
turning to his first Minister, who waited
behind him with a white Staff, near as
tall as the Main-mast of the Royal Soverain; he observed how contemptible
a Thing was human Grandeur, which
could be mimicked by such diminutive
Insects as I: And yet, said he, I dare engage, these Creatures have their Titles
and Distinctions of Honour, they contrive little Nests and Burrows, that they
call Houses and Cities; they make a
Figure in Dress and Equipage; they
love, they fight, they dispute, they
cheat, they betray. And thus he continued on, while my Colour came and
went several times, with Indignation to
hear our noble Country, the Mistress
of Arts and Arms, the Scourge of France,
the Arbitress of Europe, the Seat of Virtue, Piety, Honour and Truth, the Pride
and Envy of the World, so contemptuously treated.
| 10 |
BUT, as I was not in a condition to
resent Injuries, so, upon mature Thoughts,
I began to doubt whether I were injured
or no. For, after having been accustomed several Months to the Sight and Converse of this People, and observed every
Object upon which I cast mine Eyes to
be of proportionable Magnitude, the
Horror I had first conceived from
their Bulk and Aspect was so far worn
off, that if I had then beheld a Company
of English Lords and Ladies in their
Finery and Birth-day Cloaths, acting
their several Parts in the most courtly
manner of Strutting, and Bowing and
Prating; to say the Truth, I should have
been strongly tempted to laugh as much
at them as this King and his Grandees
did at me. Neither indeed could I
forbear smiling at my self, when the
Queen used to place me upon her Hand
towards a Looking-Glass, by which both
our Persons appeared before me in full
View together; and there could nothing
be more ridiculous than the Comparison:
So that I really began to imagine my
self dwindled many Degrees below my
usual Size.
| 11 |
NOTHING angred and mortified me
so much as the Queen's Dwarf, who
being of the lowest Stature that was ever
in that Country (for I verily think he
was not full thirty Foot high) became
insolent at seeing a Creature so much
beneath him, that he would always affect
to swagger and look big as he passed by
me in the Queen's Antichamber, while
I was standing on some Table talking
with the Lords or Ladies of the Court,
and he seldom failed of a small Word
or two upon my Littleness; against
which I could only revenge my self by
calling him Brother, challenging him to
wrestle, and such Repartees as are usual
in the Mouths of Court Pages. One Day
at Dinner this malicious little Cubb was
so nettled with something I had said to
him, that raising himself upon the Frame
of her Majesty's Chair, he took me up
by the middle, as I was sitting down, not
thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large Silver Bowl of Cream, and then
ran away as fast he could. I fell over
Head and Ears, and if I had not been a
good Swimmer, it might have gone very
hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in
that instant happened to be at the other
End of the Room, and the Queen was
in such a Fright that she wanted Presence
of Mind to assist me. But my little
Nurse ran to my Relief, and took me out,
after I had swallowed above a Quart of
Cream. I was put to bed; however I
received no other Damage than the Loss
of a suit of Cloaths, which was utterly
spoiled. The Dwarf was soundly
whipped, and as a further Punishment, forced
to drink up the Bowl of Cream, into
which he had thrown me; neither was
he ever restored to Favour: For, soon
after the Queen bestowed him to a Lady
of high Quality, so that I saw him no
more; to my very great Satisfaction;
for I could not tell to what Extremity
such a malicious Urchin might have carried his Resentment.
| 12 |
HE had before served me a scurvy
Trick, which set the Queen a Laughing,
although at the same time she were heartily vexed, and would have immediately
cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede. Her Majesty had
taken a Marrow-bone upon her Plate,
and after knocking out the Marrow,
placed the Bone again in the Dish erect
as it stood before; the Dwarf watching
his Opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was
gone to the Side-board, mounted upon
the Stool she stood on to take care of me
at Meals, took me up in both Hands, and
squeezing my Legs together, wedged them
into the Marrow-bone above my Wast,
where I stuck for some time, and made
a very ridiculous Figure. I believe it
was near a Minute before any one knew
what was become of me, for I thought it
below me to cry out. But, as the Princes seldom get their Meat hot, my Legs were not
scalded, only my Stockings and Breeches in a sad condition. The Dwarf at my
Entreaty had no other Punishment than
a sound whipping.
| 13 |
I WAS frequently rallied by the Queen
upon Account of my Fearfulness, and she
used to ask me whether the People of my
Country were as great Cowards as my
self. The Occasion was this. The Kingdom is much pestered with Flies in Summer, and these odious Insects, each of
them as big as a Dunstable Lark, hardly
gave me any rest while I sat at Dinner,
with their continual humming and buzzing about mine Ears. They would
sometimes alight upon my Victuals, and
leave their loathsome Excrement or Spawn
behind, which to me was very visible,
though not to the Natives of that Country, whose large Opticks were not so
acute as mine in viewing smaller Objects.
Sometimes they would fix upon my
Nose or Forehead, where they stung me
to the quick, smelling very offensively,
and I could easily trace that viscous Matter, which our Naturalists tell us enables
those Creatures to walk with their Feet
upwards upon a Cieling. I had much
ado to defend my self against these detestable Animals, and could not forbear
starting when they came on my Face. It
was the common Practice of the Dwarf
to catch a number of these Insects in his
Hand as School-boys do among us, and
let them out suddenly under my Nose
on purpose to frighten me, and divert
the Queen. My Remedy was to cut them
in Pieces with my Knife as they flew in
the Air, wherein my Dexterity was much
admired.
| 14 |
I REMEMBER one Morning when
Glumdalclitch had set me in my Box upon a Window, as she usually did in fair
Days to give me Air (for I durst not venture to let the Box be hung on a Nail out
of the Window, as we do with Cages in
England) after I had lifted up one of
my Sashes, and sat down at my Table to
eat a piece of Sweet Cake for my Breakfast, above twenty Wasps, allured by the
smell, came flying into the Room, humming louder than the Drones of as many
Bagpipes. Some of them seized my Cake,
and carried it piece-meal away, others
flew about my Head and Face, confounding me with the Noise, and putting me
in the utmost terror of their Stings.
However I had the Courage to rise and
draw my Hanger, and attack them in the
Air. I dispatched four of them, but the
rest got away, and I presently shut my
Window. These | |
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